In simplistic terms, self confidence is about having both positive and realistic expectations of yourself although you cannot have one without the other without a shift in your mindset.
See if you can spot yourself amongst the following three definitions.
- Self-confident – I have my piloting license, and with practice, I can fly my own plane.
- Self-doubting – Even though I have my piloting license, I do not think I will ever be able to fly on my own.
- Self-deluded – Now that I have mastered this video game, I will be the best pirate flier in the sky.
Most folks have self confidence in one area, while not so much in another. That is difficult to imagine in these days of actors who sing, write, and resurrect UNICEF. You might feel like you have nothing going for yourself but remember that with money and contacts, almost anything is possible.
You are good at many things, but could always use improvement in areas too.
Do You Have Self Confidence
Before you do anything else, list ten things that you do well.
Once your list is complete, read it aloud with a smile on your face. Celebrate them. Embrace the truth. Right now, you are experiencing the very first step:
- Self-confident folks know they do wonderful things
Maybe this part was easy for you because you already know you are great in so many ways. Good for you!
Now that you have sung your praises, make another list. This time write down at least five ways in which you could improve.
Note, I did not say, “Five things you hate about yourself,” or “Five things you should have done a long time ago.” Just five simple ways you could maybe work harder, perhaps be more responsible, or even let your hair down.
Self-confident folks love themselves enough to want to improve their actions, and their lives.
An action can be many things. It can be eating healthier meals, or dating more respectful folks. It can be taking a second job, or planning a vacation. Everyone has opportunities to take actions that improve their lives. What are yours?
Remember now that self-confident folks are positive (“I can change for the better”) and realistic (“I can eat healthier”). Sometimes the things we hope to change consume months or years of time. The key to making them manageable is to break your goals down into smaller, easy steps.
We build self confidence whenever we meet a goal. So make your milestones bite-size. Instead of revising your meal plan in one day, make a goal of eating a salad for one meal a week. Instead of ditching the boyfriend who makes your house a mess, ask him to put his shoes by the door when he comes in.
What is the Big Deal about Self Confidence
From a very young age, we are taught that friends make us feel better. The more friends you have, and the more popular you are, the more you enjoy your life. According to some studies, you even live longer when you have more friends.
You get older and meet someone you want to share your life with forever. Relationships, just like friendships, we are taught, help us feel good. Being married to someone is seen as an expected.
Unfortunately, neither of these things is completely true. Pair up with the wrong friend, or the wrong boyfriend or girlfriend, and your quality of life can take a serious nosedive.
Self confidence helps you decide who makes you feel good and who does not. When you can see your life for what it really is, and evaluate both good and bad, you have the chance to avoid the folks who bring you down.
In that way, it is significantly important to your life, and any future family, or to the family you have now. It is never too late to build up your self-confidence. It is never too late to change your actions, improve your life, and enjoy yourself.
Folks who are confident in them selves also feel up to the challenge. They try to make positive changes. They succeed and go on to enjoy life even more than before. You can have self confidence as well. It all begins with one little step.