How to Face Your Fear of the Unknown

Fear is a natural response that helps keeps us safe while also preventing us from taking risks that could prove to be dangerous. However, for many folks, their fears are so powerful that they prevent them from making any improvements in their life, which in turn makes a big dent in their self confidence. Knowing how to face your fears is an important step in living the life that you want and believing that you can change and succeed will in turn give a big boost to your own confidence.

The feeling of being afraid can be a very intense emotion and you may not be able to pinpoint the exact cause of why you are feeling that way. However, it is not always the fear of failure that cause emotions to run wild but rather a fear of success that takes hold. Therefore, to understand how to defeat your fear, you must understand the motivation behind it.

What do you have to lose?

Simon played drums for a popular rock band for nearly ten years before they got a deal. Instead of being elated, every time he thought about signing the new record he broke out in a cold. The thought of quitting the band crossed his mind several times before he came to his senses.

The worst that could happen in Simon's case was winding up on the road, where he had been before, in a van with guys that he usually liked playing music he loved. There was the threat of their songs being tweaked, winding up in debt, and other things he was already dealing with.

Surprisingly it was not the criticism either. As an experienced musician, he had heard his share of hisses and boos. When he really thought about it, Simon was most worried about how he would handle the success of a major musician.

What do you have to gain?

Many times folks can easily list the benefits to the situations they are heading towards. It is the fear of the unknown that is so scary.

• What will happen if I leave my husband?
• What will happen once we are married?
• How will this baby change my life?

Fear can paralyze your ability to make decisions and when that happens, it is time to take stock of your options.

The world is full of resources where possible outcomes can be rehashed and researched. Talk to other newlyweds and divorcees. Check out parenting TV shows, books and message boards.

Do not be afraid to use your personal resources. If a friend or neighbor has gone through a similar situation, talk to them since there is no substitute for having been there, done that.

Once you understand what kinds of consequences you are facing, it is much easier to prepare for them.

Planning Your Actions

Although your obstacle may not be as big as Simon's, with a total change in finances, home and primary business, you may still be unsure of the changes about to happen. Remember though, that there is nothing wrong with feeling nervous, anxious, or sad to see your life take a different direction.

Now that you know what is ahead, you can devise a plan on how to handle the possible results. You might need back ups to your back ups, and a system ready to abandon your decision should things get too intense. Having those measures in place will help you feel more self-confident. You will know you will be able to deal with whatever comes up.

Right before your big move, you might try a short series of confidence boosting decisions that prove your abilities to yourself. If you are planning a total kitchen renovation, you may want to re-stain various pieces around your house. If you are planning to go back to school, you might want to attend a few workshops first.

Celebrate in Advance

Do not celebrate your success before it happens since you cannot count those chickens before they hatch. Nevertheless, you can feel proud of your work so far. The courage it took to get to this point will affect all of your goals from now on. The commitment and effort you put toward your goal deserve some recognition. It does not matter if you cave in the last minute since that just sends you back to the drawing board, to plan for a smaller, less threatening event.